Tomorrow and Never Again Chapter 16
I don't know if I'll be able to practice this. I might as well say so at present. I know why they chose me, considering I'grand meant to be the best author, but there's a bit more to information technology than just being able to write. There'due south a few little things can make it the way. Little things similar feelings, emotions.
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Well, I'd better cease bitter my tongue and start bitter the bullet. In that location'southward only one way to do this and that'south to tell it in order, chronological order. I know writing information technology downward is important to us. That's why we all got then excited when Robyn suggested it. It's terribly, terribly important. Recording what we've done, in words, on newspaper, it'due south got to be our style of telling ourselves that nosotros hateful something, that we thing. That the things we've done have made a deviation. I don't know how big a difference, simply a difference. Writing it downwardly means we might be remembered. And by God that matters to us. None of the states wants to end up as a pile of dead white bones, unnoticed, unknown, and worst of all, with no 1 knowing or appreciating the risks we've run.
Related Characters: Ellie (speaker), Robyn
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Finally nosotros came to an understanding, and it wasn't too bad, considering. We could have the Land Rover just I was the simply one immune to bulldoze it, even though Kevin had his P's and I didn't. But Dad knows I'm a good driver. We could go to the elevation of Tailor'due south Sew together. We could invite the boys simply we had to have more people: at least six and up to 8. That was because Mum and Dad thought there was less chance of an orgy if there were more people. Non that they'd admit that was the reason—they said it was to do with safety—but I know them besides well.
And yes. I've written that "o" in "know" carefully—I wouldn't want it to be confused with an "east."
Related Characters: Ellie (speaker), Kevin
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It was nigh one-half past two when we got to the top. Fi had ridden the last couple of k's, but nosotros were all relieved to go out of the Landie and stretch our bones. We came out on the south side of a knoll near Mt Martin. That was the end of the vehicle track: from then on it was shanks's pony. But for the time being we wandered around and admired the view. On one side you could see the ocean: beautiful Cobbler'due south Bay, i of my favourite places, and according to Dad one of the world's bang-up natural harbours, used only past the occasional fishing boat or cruising yacht. Information technology was as well far from the city for anything else. Nosotros could see a couple of ships there this fourth dimension though; 1 looked similar a large trawler maybe.
Related Characters: Ellie (speaker), Fiona
Related Symbols: Hell
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Suddenly the loud buzzing became a roar. I couldn't believe how quickly it changed. It was probably because of the high walls of rock that surrounded our military camp. And like black bats screaming out of the sky, blotting out the stars, a V-shaped line of jets raced overhead, very low overhead. Then some other, and so another, till six lines in all had stormed through the heaven above me. Their noise, their speed, their darkness frightened me. I realised that I was crouching, equally though being beaten. I stood up. It seemed that they were gone. The noise faded apace, till I could no longer hear it. Merely something remained. The air didn't seem equally clear, as pure. In that location was a new temper. The sweetness had gone; the sweet called-for coldness had been replaced by a new humidity. I could smell the jet fuel. We'd idea that nosotros were among the first humans to invade this basin, just humans had invaded everything, everywhere. They didn't have to walk into a identify to invade it. Even Hell was not allowed.
Related Characters: Ellie (speaker)
Related Symbols: Hell
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I went for a walk back up the track, to the terminal of Satan'southward Steps. The sunday had already warmed the nifty granite wall and I leaned against information technology with my eyes half shut, thinking about our hike, and the path and the human being who'd built it, and this identify called Hell. "Why did people call it Hell?" I wondered. All those cliffs and rocks, and that vegetation, it did wait wild. Merely wild wasn't Hell. Wild was fascinating, difficult, wonderful. No place was Hell, no place could be Hell. It's the people calling it Hell, that'due south the simply thing that made it and then. People just sticking names on places, so that no ane could encounter those places properly whatever more. Every time they looked at them or thought about them the first matter they saw was a huge large sign maxim "Housing Commission" or "individual school" or "church" or "mosque" or "synagogue." They stopped looking once they saw those signs.
Related Symbols: Hell
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The rational thing to exercise would have been to get out her and rush into the house, because I knew that nothing so awful could have happened to the dogs unless something more than atrocious had happened to my parents. But I had already stopped thinking rationally. I slipped Millie's concatenation off and the erstwhile canis familiaris staggered to her anxiety, and so collapsed forward onto her front knees. I decided, brutally, that I couldn't spend any more than time with her. I'd helped her enough.
Related Characters: Ellie (speaker)
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Robyn took over. "We've got to think, guys. I know we all want to rush off, but this is one fourth dimension we tin't afford to requite in to feelings. There could be a lot at stake here. Lives fifty-fifty. We've got to presume that something actually bad is happening, something quite evil. If nosotros're incorrect, and then we can laugh about it later, simply nosotros've got to assume that they're not down the pub or gone on a holiday."
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"Mayhap all my mother's stories made me think of it before you lot guys. And like Robyn said before, if we're wrong," he was struggling to get the words out, his confront twisting like someone having a stroke, "if we're wrong yous tin express mirth equally long and loud as you desire. But for now, for now, let's say it'south truthful. Allow's say nosotros've been invaded. I think there might be a war."
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The image I'll always think from Corrie's place is of Corrie continuing lonely in the middle of the sitting room, tears streaming down her confront. Then Kevin came in from checking the bedrooms, saw her, and moving apace to her took her in his artillery and held her close. They just stood there for quite a few minutes. I liked Kevin a lot for that.
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I couldn't look at anyone, just downwards at the tabular array, at the piece of muesli box that I was screwing up and twisting and spinning effectually in my fingers. It was difficult for me to believe that I, apparently old Ellie, aught special near me, middle of the road in every way, had probably just killed iii people. It was also big a thing for me to become my mind around. When I idea of it baldly like that: killed three people, I was and then filled with horror. I felt that my life was permanently damaged, that I could never be normal over again, that the residual of my life would only exist a vanquish.
Related Characters: Ellie (speaker)
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Homer was becoming more surprising with every passing hour. Information technology was getting hard to remember that this fast-thinking guy, who'd just spent xv minutes getting the states laughing and talking and feeling expert again, wasn't fifty-fifty trusted to mitt out the books at school.
Related Characters: Ellie (speaker), Homer
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I realised to my atheism that it had been just almost twenty hours since we'd emerged from the bush into this new world. Lives tin exist changed that speedily. In some ways nosotros should take been used to change. We'd seen a chip of it ourselves. This treehouse, for case. Corrie and I had spent many hours under its shady roof, belongings tea parties, organising our dolls' social lives, playing school, spying on the shearers, pretending nosotros were prisoners trapped there. All our games were imitations of adult rituals and adult lives, although nosotros didn't realise it and so of course.
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"They seemed such innocent days. You know, when nosotros got to high schoolhouse and stuff, I used to look back and smile and think 'God, was I ever innocent!' Santa Claus and tooth fairies and thinking that Mum stuck your paintings on the fridge considering they were masterpieces. Simply I've learnt something now. Corrie, nosotros were still innocent. Correct up to yesterday. We didn't believe in Santa Claus but we believed in other fantasies. You said it. You said the big one. Nosotros believed we were condom. That was the big fantasy. At present we know we're non, and like you said, nosotros'll never experience safe again, and so information technology's farewell-bye innocence. It's been nice knowing you, but yous're gone at present."
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"What does it mean 'reducing imbalances inside the region'?" Kevin asked.
"I gauge he's talking about sharing things more as," Robyn said. "We've got all this land and all these resource, and yet in that location's countries a crow'due south spit away that have people packed in like battery hens. Yous tin can't blame them for resenting it, and we haven't done much to reduce any imbalances, simply sat on our fat backsides, enjoyed our coin and felt smug."
Related Characters: Robyn (speaker), Kevin (speaker)
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"It's merely not right," said Kevin stubbornly.
"Maybe not. But neither'south your style of looking at it. There doesn't have to exist a right side and a wrong side. Both sides can be right, or both sides tin be wrong. I think both countries are in the wrong this time."
"Then does that mean you lot're non going to fight them?' Kevin asked, still looking for a fight himself.
Robyn sighed. "I don't know. I already have, haven't I? I was right there with Ellie when we smashed our fashion through Wirrawee. I guess I'll go on fighting them, for the sake of my family unit. But after the war, if there is such a time equally later on the war. I'll work damn hard to change things. I don't intendance if I spend the residuum of my life doing it."
Related Characters: Ellie (speaker), Robyn (speaker), Kevin (speaker)
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Just humans knew about Hell; they were the experts on information technology. I remembered wondering if humans were Hell. The Hermit for instance; whatsoever had happened that terrible Christmas Eve, whether he'd committed an act of bully honey, or an act of slap-up evil... Merely that was the whole problem, that as a human being he could have done either and he could take washed both. Other creatures didn't take this problem. They simply did what they did. I didn't know if the Hermit was a saint or a devil, but one time he'd fired those 2 shots it seemed that he and the people circular him had sent him into Hell. They sent him there and he sent himself there. He didn't have to trek all the way beyond to these mountains into this wild basin of heat and rock and bush. He carried Hell with him, as nosotros all did, like a piddling load on our backs that we hardly noticed nearly of the fourth dimension, or like a huge great hump of suffering that bent us over with its weight.
Related Symbols: Hell
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I too had blood on my easily, like the Hermit, and only as I couldn't tell whether his actions were skilful or bad, and then as well I couldn't tell what mine were. Had I killed out of love of my friends, as part of a noble crusade to rescue friends and family and keep our state free? Or had I killed considering I valued my life higher up that of others? Would it exist OK for me to kill a dozen others to continue myself alive? A hundred? A thousand? At what point did I condemn myself to Hell, if I hadn't already washed and so? The Bible just said "Thou shalt not kill," and so told hundreds of stories of people killing each other and becoming heroes, like David with Goliath. That didn't help me much.
Related Symbols: Hell
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All I could think of to exercise was to trust to instinct. That was all I had actually. Homo laws, moral laws, religious laws, they seemed bogus and basic, almost childlike. I had a sense within me—often not much more than a striving—to observe the right affair to practise, and I had to have faith in that sense. Call it anything—instinct, conscience, imagination—but what information technology felt like was a abiding testing of everything I did against some kind of boundaries within me; checking, checking, all the time.
Related Characters: Ellie (speaker)
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Nosotros've got to stick together, that's all I know. We all drive each other crazy at times, but I don't want to end up here lonely, like the Hermit. And so this really would exist Hell. Humans practice such terrible things to each other that sometimes my brain tells me they must be evil. Merely my heart all the same isn't convinced. I just hope nosotros can survive.
Related Symbols: Hell
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